next

so here I am, live is more exciting, wonder why but my mood is at a good side, but I still had so many things to do, so better if I get prepared

get up and dance

finnaly, some major problems are solved, Mey, money, and health..hopefuly, I got drunk last night, and I was like a total dumbass, pathetic , I really not my self when I'm drunk...I should not do that again, liquor is not really a "friend" I hope that none of this would be backfired at me

On The Edge

I was in doubt lately, but now I made up my mind, I will go down with this ship if I had to, I will not Lose the one I love, I rather die in proud than surrendering

Nine of wands, again..well then I'm all set

incomplete

Just got back from Mey's place, I'm waiting about 1,5 hours...and Mey doesn't show up....I got a feeling that she won't return since she knows that I will be there, what is this actually? our quarrel has affected her sister as well, is it right? our relationship? I always sure that I like her, I care about her and I can made her happy, but this is wrong, not only she hurt herself, my feeling and now her family and friends...and much less I feel guilty, that she become like this...so am I wrong? I never thought that our relationship is so fragile......I will try to reach her again for tommorow, if this state continous....I might reconsider heavily about this relation and its effect...I'm on the edge of my mind

panic mode

well, this week is really troublesome, my health is not good at all, plus that I made some misjudgement which result in quarrel between me and Mey, like yesterday I choose to hangin out with my friends then go to Mey's place, so I send a sms to her saying that I'll be at her place soon, but the truth is it ruined, since we go to all you can eat restaurant, it took longer than I expected, plus that yesterday all taxi are GONE, I'm standing 2 hours queuing a taxi, in cold wind...I'm weak to wind..so my fever is getting worst ..once we get a taxi I'm slept, in result my plan to drop by on Mey's place is disbanded, when I got to my room, I'm very tired, so took a medicine and go to bed, and send a sms to mey that I couldn't make it, and in the morning I got 3 sms from Mey that said she is so upset at me and even hate me, it break my heart actually, I envy at her...if she feel something she can just said about anything...but what if I said the same thing? well thats almost impossible, my consciousness wont allow me to do that..and this night is the worse, I still got a little fever, but I push myself to go to Leaders meeting, then I try to call Mey but her cellphone is not active, then I go to Mey's place...but she's not there her sister told me that Mey is nowhere to be found, so I tried to reach her but I just realize that I know nothing about her friends, I'm worried sick about her , and then at midnight her cellphone is active but she won't reply for me, then her sister said that she's on her firends.its a relieve then, at least I know that she is safe and sound.

then I had a lot of thinking, is it just because of me she suddenly "runaway" ? well I can understand if she runaway from me, but at least she could tell her sister where she is, what are we actually? I had a lot of bad day this week, most of it my health, and then this quarrel. its kinda lower my spirit..life can be so complex and discouraging, what should I do? everything I choose seems end up in false state, but then again, I'll do what I must do...daimoku...what else can I do?...I'll face up with my problems tommorow, I won't lose, I may wounded but I still standing, I will fight for my love....well im I worried sick like that I might be in true love?..I really don't know for now

Done

well the midterm is over..so a long vacation..wonder what would I do

Hey Ya

well 1 week without a job, its a relieve at start , but now I'm getting bored...I will fix my computer and play some games...and then when I really bored..I"ll try to find another job....and now I can't get it out of my head...Outkast song..hey ya(andre 3000)..arghhh

Quit

I'm no longer an internet cafe operator, well, it could be said that I'm fired, but I figured that its better this way...I will concentrate on my personal life for time being

Exam

uh well..not so sure what would happend to me this day...hope that I can keep my spirit high

Gohonzon

Well, this day should be a big step for me, I shall aquire my own Gohonzon today....

Mid Term

Finnaly, the legendary mid term, okay then 2 weeks of doing nothing^^; , but then again....who knows:)