the ghost and the haunted

I once knew someone, for a reason and another that someone is 'dead' and therefore the only remain of that someone is just fragments of memory in my brain, no feelings left, this someone is a ghost from the past for me, I personally never saw ghost or anything like it, I almost forgot about this ghost, I love a haunted person, this person haunted by my ghost, the haunted believe that this ghost is exist around me , and every time she thinks she saw the ghost, her hatred toward the ghost( that didn't even exist, this so called ghost is just fragments of my memory that I could already forgotten) override all my feelings on her, and she denied her feelings for me( she loves me? she loves me not, she loves me? she loves me not....out of petal) which made me disappointed, anger, hatred, despair, and yet I still had love???? Ironic, my love override all my hatred, but her hatred override even my love, I’m in vain.....she dump me? I dumped because of the ghost that I didn't even gave a shit about it, I'm fighting inside, my ego, my pride said I always be the beggar this 2 years, beg beg beg, is it enough already? my conscience said, hey its ok to lose your pride for your love, ok, losing pride to love is ok if I just can be sure that I will be loved back...do I? I offer my love, with all my heart, is I am loved back? All this time I believe I do, but... that love for me is facade, My love for her may last long time, but her love for me turn to hatred in just a second, I don't know anymore, I always took her attitude towards me with my heart, she doesn't want me in her side anymore? then I carved it in my heart, of course a part of me fighting this feeling, a lonesome wandering youth....that’s who I really am, I thought that I found a soul mate, but I thought wrong, I always lonely by my self, I always lonely